DarkseedStuck
by Maggyo
Summary: Eridan, the most pathetic man in the world, wakes up, a year after defeating the horrorterrors in the dark world, to find his girlfriend, Feferi, murdered. A parody of the game Darkseed 2; I highly recommend looking it up on youtube to understand the plot and the humor. Rated T for language.
1. A Shocking Discovery

**Author's notes**

This work is a parody of the game Darkseed 2, featuring Eridan Ampora as Mike Dawson. To understand the plot and most of the references, I recommend looking up Retsupurae's riff of Darkseed 2 on Youtube.

-new game-

Eridan Ampora woke up from his slime-filled cocoon in his recuperation hive. He had the usual nightmare; he was running down a gray corridor, urged on by his girlfriend Feferi's pleas for help. He sees a mirror, and through it he sees a beastly version of himself before he wakes up. He's been living at home with his lusus ever since the incident with the horrorterrors a year ago, which has been lingering in his mind for quite some time. The Dark World, the horrorterrors called it? Eridan however, is surprised that Terezi Pyrope is standing near the door to his room as he opens his eyes.

"SO YOUR3 F1N4LLY 4W4K3, SL33PYH34D."

Eridan nearly fell out his bed while hearing sheriff Pyrope's raspy voice. "wwhat the fuck do you wwant, tez! wwhatevver the fuck happened, i didnt do it!", he lashed out in surprise and a bit of fear.

Terezi merely bit her lip. "1'M NOT H3R3 TO 4RR3ST YOU, 4MPOR4. 1 W4S JUST GO1NG TO T3LL YOU SOM3 SHOCK1NG N3WS!", she giggled, but quickly her face turned staunch. "F3F3R1 H4S B33N MURD3R3D, 4ND TH3 K1LL3R W1LL B3 BROUGHT TO JUST1C3!"

Eridan simply stared, a bit confused. "wwhat the glub are you fuckin talkin about, tez! this aint glubbin funny!"

"SH3'S D34D, DOOFUS. 1 N33D YOUR H3LP 1N BR1NG1NG TH3 K1LL3R TO JUST1C3, UNL3SS YOU JUST W4NT TO CONF3SS R1GHT NOW!" A smirk appeared on the sheriff's face.

"oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck! i didnt glubbin krill her, she was my fuckin matesprit! wwho the fuck could a done this!" Eridan sweat profusely, distraught of the news. While he has been dating Feferi for quite some time now, she never returned the feelings of Matespritship that Eridan expressed with her. After Terezi didn't respond, Eridan said "am i the main suspect?"

"WH1L3 1T W4S R3PORT3D TH4T YOU W3R3 TH3 L4ST P3RSON WHO S4W H3R B3FOR3 SH3 D13D, 1 DON'T H4V3 4NY SOL1D PROOF 4G41NST YOU. YOU'R3 S4F3, FOR NOW!," Terezi replied. After a moment of silence between the two, she stepped out of the room.

Eridan's jaw merely gaped open at the turn of events. "wwhoevver the fuck did this to fef, im gonna make them pay in fuckin blood."


	2. The Mission is Revealed

After learning of the terrible news from Terezi, Eridan stepped out from his slime pod and took the time to look around his room. Above his pod were a variety of posters for various sporting teams; Eridan was a large fan of the Hoofbeasts. In one corner of his room lay a large pile of shitty wands. Ever since his first run in with the horrorterrors, he figured he might as well do something to protect himself in case they returned. Near the door was a closet that has been locked for as long as Eridan could remember. He felt no need to try and open it, for he just simply _knew_ it was locked.

Eridan stepped out from his room into the kitchen, where he saw his seahorse lusus preparing a meal, as always.

"Well, my pathetic son wasn't killed by Terezi? That's a first," his lusus sneered. Seahorsedad has been ashamed of Eridan ever since he moved back into the house. "So, boy, are you going to do something productive today or be a pathetic ass? Wait, you don't need to tell me, I know you are going to be pathetic as usual."

Eridan sighed, enduring yet another morning of torment from his lusus. "im gonna go to the diner for breakfast today, dad. im not in the mood for fuckin boilin wwater today." Seahorsedad only boiled water for meals in his trusty pot. Always. "later im gonna see doctor jade again, maybe she wwill encourage me to do fuckin somethin."

"Oh, isn't that hilarious! Eridan, actually _doing_ something with his life? Fucking hilarious, if you ask me. Do whatever you want, you little shitty grub."

Eridan walked into his living room, his head down in shame. Every day he goes through this treatment by his lusus, who despises his pathetic excuse for a grub. Before he goes, however, Eridan snags a magnet off his fridge. He had no idea why, but he thought it might somehow come in handy.

As Eridan entered his living room, he caught sight of his TV, displaying local news. The station was airing Feferi's murder, listing off all sorts of possible suspects. As Eridan watches the program the reporter's face is suddenly replaced by a strange figure wearing goggles, who bared an uncanny resemblance to Feferi.

"hey, you, punk. apparently you gotta fuckin save my sorry ass and all of t)(e dark world from t)(e )(orrorterrors. dunno how a pathetic loser like you is gonna do it, but w)(atever. my fuckin name is meenah, and t)(e horrorterrors are back." As quickly as the goggled face appeared, it vanished as the reporter showed up on the TV again.

"wwell that wwas fuckin wwierd."

Eridan heard the doorbell ring, and answered it. A deliveryman was carrying a package at the door, addressed to Eridan from an anonymous sender. Eridan received the package and opened it to reveal a ticket to the Dark Carnival, opening up in a few days near the park where Feferi's corpse was discovered. Eridan has never cared for the circus, but it might give him something to do in this boring shithole of a town. This information was getting too convoluted to process, so Eridan fled to the bathroom. This was his favorite place to think, by the presence of his only real friend, the toilet. After spending nearly an hour sitting by the shower in deep thought, Eridan decided the best course of action was to head around town and ask for details about Feferi's death. Eridan left through the front door, but not before grabbing his trusty camera from a cabinet in the living room and being jeered by his lusus for spending so much time each day in the bathroom.


End file.
